Okay. I had the most unbelievable day of "things that come in threes" on Thursday. I have already typed (for like 20 min) the whole thing out once on Thursday when it was fresh in my mind and I was still blown away by it. It was tremendously witty and a fantastic piece of writing if I do say so myself. Of course (and I guess this would count as the fourth thing... hmmm), as I tried to post the blog, it got erased. So none of you will get to read the perfect description of my day, but here's as close as I can get on a Saturday evening. :-)
Thursday began as any other Thursday would. I worked for a while, did some calls, ate some food, etc. THEN, I left to go to a dentist appointment where I was to have my teeth cleaned and get a crown put on a root canal that was done in like June or something. :-) (No avoidance happening there.) I had been to my dentist here in BR once before and loved him and the office. The office is run very well. They actually TELL YOU what's going on rather than leaving you in the dark. Very nice.
My hygenist begins cleaning my teeth and proceeds to tell me that she's going to go ahead and give me my shots of novacain while she's doing the cleaning and that way my mouth will be numb and ready for the crown to be placed. Now, at this point, I'm thinking to myself, "Self, I've never had a hygenist do the anesthesia before. It's always been the dentist." But then I responded to myself, "Yeah, but self, she said something about having taken anesthesia classes and this office runs so well. It's probably just how they do it. No worries." (Is anyone sensing a big problem about to occur? If not, you need to work on recognizing foreshadowing.)
Then, the hygenists asks another dental assistant to get her the syringe because she's going to go ahead and do the shots so I'll be ready for the crown. Then, she says, "Don't tell him (the dentist). He'll just want to come and watch." [In my head at this moment, "Danger, Will Robinson! Danger! Danger!] Then she turns to me, and probably seeing the panick in my eyes, says, "He always wants to watch me do shots because he says I do them better than he does. Hee-hee." (Yes, she actually giggled at that statement.) I try to remain calm at this moment because I figure if anything were really wrong with this situation, the other dental assistant would have said something or gone and gotten the dentist.
The hygenist then begins to prepare me for the shots. I can't help but notice that she's not shooting into my cheek like is normally done. She's actually fiddling her finger between my upper and lower jaws at the joint. Yes, that's right, she actually put the shot INTO my jaw joint. I actually believe that part was supposed to be done, but let me say that intentional or not, it hurt LIKE HELL!!! I actually yelped aloud (something I try my best not to do in public, being an adult an all). Her response to this was that I "shouldn't be feeling anything at all by now." I don't know if she was trying to "logic" me out of my pain or if she thought I was faking it or what, but I have never understood what good telling someone they shouldn't be in pain does when they are obviously in pain. Did she stop? Readjust? NO!!! She just kept on pushing in that crappy medicine and then reached for the second syringe (or possibly refilled the first. I was in too much pain at that moment to notice.) and pumped it in, too -- hurting even more than the first point. At which time, she again reassured me that I shouldn't be in any pain. [HELLO!!! DO YOU HEAR ME FREAKING SCREAMING HERE?!?]
Now, you may think that this is the bad part of my dentist story. YOU'D BE WRONG!!! After the two painful shots into my jaw bone, she goes back to polishing the ole' teeth. And occassionally, she taps on my lip and says, "Are you starting to feel funny here?" But oddly enough, I am not starting to feel funny in my bottom lip. My body is quivering and I'm getting sick to my stomach from the pain of the shot. (I tend to pass out when given shots into joints -- which I've had done before -- and these are the signs my body gives when it's about to pass-out.) Now, I'm freaking out a bit at this point because I can tell I'm about to pass-out. THEN, the oddest thing starts happening. My bottom eyelid starts jumping -- like I have a twitch nerve. Within 10 seconds, it was totally asleep. SHE NUMBED MY FREAKING EYE -- THE WHOLE TOP LEFT QUADRANT OF MY FACE!!!!! I became unable to BLINK!!! My eye would not close without the help of my fingers because all of the stuff inside the eyelids was asleep.
Does the giggly hygenist apologize? Of course not!!! She begins explaining to me (in at least 8 different ways that were all different) why it wasn't her fault or an accident -- how these things just "happen" sometimes. Then, she proceeds to give me 2 MORE SHOTS into my jawbone into the right (gosh, let's hope so) nerve rather than the one that puts your freaking eyelids to sleep!!! And, of course, since my mouth isn't numb at all, they were excruciating as well. (Am I having fun yet?)
Now, I must point out that at this point, I am (like a true southern gal) keeping my cool. I haven't complained. I haven't screamed (other than from the pain). I haven't even cried (though I am fighting tears a bit because I'm so freaked-out at not being able to close my eye). But I am so calm, you wouldn't believe it!!!
They move me to a different room where the crown will be done. The dentist comes in and (after obviously being told by the hygenist that she'd screwed-up my face) asks me to scrunch up my face. When I told him I couldn't (believe me, I tried), he tapped me on the cheek and said, "That'll come back." (As if the thought had crossed his mind that it might not come back!!!) I wanted to scream, "I sure as HECK hope so!!! I was working under that assumption. Do you think that I would be anywhere near this calm if I thought that my eye was PERMANENTLY open?!?" I mean really, people!!!
So then I proceed to have a crown placed which included the dust from drilling and that bright light aimed directly in my eyes -- WHICH I CAN'T CLOSE!!! (Please don't tell my eye doctor about this. He'd have a fit at the danger I put my eyes in to have a tooth fixed.)
Now, I know some of you are thinking that this is over, but you 've forgotten the title of this blog -- "Things that happen in THREES". That's right, folks!!! This is just the first of three things (all-be-it, the worst by far).
After the dentist, I napped, went to Supper Studio (which I loved) and then decided that after a morning like that, I deserved to have dinner fixed for me and it be something I love. So I went to Zippy's (the best fast-food authentic Mexican ever) to get Tamales El Juan (Mmmmmmm!) -- my favorite!!! We're talking homemade REAL tamales smothered in chili and cheese. I go in, order, talk with the staff who are always super friendly, and then I go to pay and after it won't run my credit card through 2 times, the cashier realizes that they don't take Discover -- the only method of payment I have with me!!! (If you're suprised by this, then you have once again, forgotten that things come in threes.) Now, though I'd rather skip it all and go home to bed, I (being the polite Southerner that I am), hate that they have fixed food that I can not pay for and it will, therefore, go to waste, so I tell them to please keep it and I will drive home, get money, and come back to get my Tamales El Juan.
So I pull out of Zippy's, drive home, run upstairs, find some cash, run back downstairs, get in the car, drive back to Zippy's and pay for my food. All is well, right? Ahhh, no, that's just number TWO of the three things.
I get back in my car, set my Tamales El Juan (which are cold by now, by the way) carefully in the passenger seat, lock the doors, go to crank my car, and -- YOU GUESSED IT -- my battery is dead. My car won't crank!!!!!! Now, I didn't leave anything on. I have done nothing to wish this upon myself. It simply died of it's own lack of a will to live, I suppose.
I then had to go back inside Zippy's to the people who already think I'm stupid because I couldn't initially pay for my food and ask for assistance because (I can't believe I forgot to mention this a minute ago) my husband is currently singing in a concert downtown and cannot be reached for assistance. All of our friends that I could call for such assistance are also either singing in the concert or at the concert watching. Thank goodness the people at Zippy's are so nice. The owner and one worker came outside with flashlights, PUSHED my car out of the parking spot so they could get another car near it, jumped me off, and had even offered to drive me home if they couldn't get it jumped off. NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL SERVICE!!! Kudos to Zippy's.
Now, I must mention at this point that by the time I finally got home (after a quick panick thinking I had lost my cell phone somewhere in the chaos but then finding it) and get my Tamales El Juan (which I will remind you is homemade tamales smothered in chili and cheese) out to eat, the cornbread-like substance that is the essence of the tamale has basically disentigrated into the smothering and rather than being big chunks of cornbread-like substance (which is the only reason I love the tamales so) is now microscopic bits of cornbread-like substance mixed-in with the smothering. AFter all of that, I couldn't even eat it. HOW SAD!!!
WHAT A FREAKING DAY!!! I figure I've had my share of "three things" to last me at least a year if not longer. :-)
And for those of you who were wondering, it did "come back". My eye finally woke-up like 5 hours later. (Though I will say my nap with my eye open was rather interesting.)
Ciao, loves!!!
