I realized something about myself recently. I have been putting limits on the things I pray for.
Don't get me wrong. I would never put limits on what God is capable of. I'm not crazy. I've read about and even seen some of his miracles and I know if it's his desire, he can make it happen.
It's just that I've always put limits on what I'm willing to ask for. I guess I've sort of developed the sense of, "There are so many other people in the world who have diseases and missing children and horrible tragedies that need his help, and I'm doing ok." I mean, my life's been far from perfect, but I figure I've got a home and food and family and friends and in the greater scheme of things, I'm doing alright. So I guess it felt sort of selfish to ask God for GREAT things in my life when there are people who really NEED great things, so I limited myself to asking for just enough to survive. I mean, WHO AM I to ask for miracles when God could spend his miracles on someone who needs them more?!?
But here's the thing. God's not like a jug of lemonade, so when it's used up, it's used up. It's not like to give one person a miracle, he has to deprive someone else of one. He is LIMITLESS not only in his power, but in his ability to give and love. It's like being a parent. Having a second child doesn't take love away from your first child. There's a whole other chunk of love that develops and multiplies to cover the second child.
So I decided I wasn't going to put limits on my prayers anymore. I've been praying about a new job for a very long time now, and I wanted to find a GREAT job not just another job to get by on. (Heck, I've been doing that for 8+ years now!) I've been praying that God would just help me find something where I wasn't unhappy more often than not. It didn't have to be amazing, just better than the current. But I finally decided to ask God for the stars. I began praying for a GREAT job, one that would make me HAPPY and where I would succeed and feel WONDERFUL about the job I was doing. I asked for a job where I would feel I had a purpose and was making a difference. And then I asked for a budgetary miracle because, let's face it, the job I'm currently miserable doing pays WAY better than the jobs I know I'd be happy doing. It's the reason I've been doing it so long.
And you know what? He did it. He has guided me through multiple interviews and multiple churches (and 4 interviews at the final church). He kept me calm and helped me show myself, not some fake interview-version of me. And then? He gave us a budgetary miracle. We didn't win the lottery or anything, but he tweaked enough stuff here and there that it's all going to work out.
And? I HAVE A NEW JOB!!!!! Starting the first Sunday in Advent, I will be the Director of Children's Ministries at a local Methodist church. It's the dream job I never knew I wanted and I'm SO excited about it.
And God and myself? We have a new policy. I'm going to continue asking for the stars and for my dreams
knowing that sometimes the answer will be "Not that", "Not now", or just plain "No". But I figure it can't hurt to ask because he loves me more than I deserve and he wants me to be happy and he wants me to contribute, and he wants me to do it WITH HIS HELP!!!
Love & Shipoopies