Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Unstructured Pants (This is for you, Mis Padres.)

I have become THAT lady.

When I realized it, I hung my head in shame.

A tiny tear appeared in the corner of my eye.

I mourned my lost un-THAT-ness.

You see, a few weeks ago, it was late at night (read as "past Tucker's bedtime") when I remembered we were out of bread and meat for Drew's lunch (plus there were a couple of things I really needed at the store as well), so I decided it was late enough that I'd just throw on my Birkenstocks (Hello, 1998!) and head to the store in the clothes I had on. No biggie.

As I was pulling into the parking lot, I dialed up my bestie, Ashley.

"Hey, what are you doing?"

"Oh, just walking around WalMart."

"SHUT UP! I'm pulling in the parking lot now. Tell me where you are and I'll come find you."

It's only THEN that I fully realize the ramifications of coming to WalMart, even post 9pm, in kitty cat flannel pajama bottoms and a long sleeved t-shirt with Birkenstocks and wet hair. I might SEE someone I know. Or, more importantly, they might SEE ME!!!

Can I back-track for a moment? Some of you may not know that, though I work full-time, I work remotely. (Read as "My shower takes a backseat to everything else in the morning since I don't HAVE to before I go to work.") With a two year old and early start times at work, this usually means my showers come at the end of the day. Usually before T and the hubs get home, but some days, the time doesn't present itself until after I get the 2 year old in bed. This was one of those days.

I'll be honest though, a one-time trip to the store wearing less-than-lovely clothes and running into my bestie (who has seen me looking much worse at my house) does not a blog entry make.

But last night, I, once again, got my shower late and wasn't planning on leaving the house, so I threw on some exercise pants (read as "unstructured" - this being solely for the amusement of my parents), a tank top, a bra on which the straps kind of/sort of matched the tank top straps (and can I just interject at how irritated I am that I'm once again wearing cropped pants and a tank top in OCTOBER?!?), and left my hair wavy and wet.

Flash forward a couple of hours when, as I'm giving Tucker her antibiotics, I realize I have a prescription waiting for me at WalMart - the one I called to refill because I realized last night at bedtime that I was taking my last pill. So I throw on my tennis shoes, which always adds beauty to a pair of cropped pants; makes my legs look so long and lean. *eyes rolling*

I hopped in the car and started driving when it hit me.

I've become THAT lady.

I'm now making my second trip to WalMart in, let's call it "less than flattering" attire. I'm on my second trip with my hair wet and unfixed. I'm on my second trip wearing "unstructured" pants.

This can NOT be good.

When I was in college, I'd go to the store in absolutely anything, but when you weigh a buck 15 or a buck 20 and are in "cheerleader shape", you can wear absolutely anything and still look not half bad. This is not true with [an indisclosed amount of weight] pounds added to your frame and 10 years added to your face.

Don't mistake me. You won't soon be seeing my rear pasted on one of those "The Fashions of WalMart" emails or pages, but the thought did occur to me more than once that if someone had nominated me for "What Not to Wear", Stacey and Clinton would NAIL me for this footage.

Love & Shipoopies (and high fashion),


Kelli @ RTSM said...

LOL! I think I'm close to becoming THAT lady too! I went to Target this week {during the day} in my sports bra and ratty tshirt...and I didn't care a bit:)

Camily said...

Ha ha! I've been there! And . . . even in your pj's and wet hair, I bet you looked better than some of the other people there (if your Walmart is like mine)!

Myya said...

I never used to go out without makeup on, at least mascara. Now... ehhhh whenever I can get out I'll take it! :)